12 Aug Whose Approval Do You Want?
If you are going to move towards an authentic life, you must first accept that there are forces driving the image you have presently constructed a.k.a your ego a.k.a the carefully crafted image you present to the world.
One of those forces is approval.
Whose approval are you seeking today?
Don’t tell me that you don’t want approval for anyone. Please, we are ALL seeking approval from someone.
Our Mom. Our Dad. Our brother. Our sister. Our husband. Our wife. Our teacher. Our friends. Our boss. Our children. Our love interests. The list goes on…
There is no shame in this question. We are conditioned from birth to seek approval first from our parents.
Good boy! Bad girl!
We seek approval so that we can desperately hear the only words we know as humans that can liberate us from self-doubt and move into a warm nest of cozy acceptance:
“I love you”
“I am proud of you”
The magical power of these words. The refusal to use these words because we know and they know the power that they possess. So they are now a bargaining chip. A bargaining chip that is used against your desires, your self-expression, your identity.
I used to spend too much time seeking approval from others. I think that it was so ingrained in me that I was completely unaware that my words, actions, life choices circled around acceptance from others. It was far easier to submit than to stand up for the respect I deserved. It far easier to submit that to say “No! That is not what I want.”
I became a doll to be molded. I rebelled in my own way from time to time but like a true servant I returned to being a show pony. I was a phony. I only knew what he or she said that I ought to be without seriously asking who do I want to be.
I have always said that I’m not an artist. I can’t draw or paint to save my life. But that’s not true. I am an artist and my life is my creation. I am my own creation.
People’s approval will make you their prisoner. And I want to be free. Liberated. But can that ever truly be?
So let’s be honest with ourselves – living or dead. Who are you seeking approval from today?
How has this individual shaped how you feel about yourself? How has this person influenced your life? How has this person shaped your image, your goals, what you think you should be doing career wise?
Who are you seeking approval from today?
I’d love for you to revisit the questions on the authentic life blog and see how this need for approval has influenced your life decisions. Are you living you authentic life?
In another blog, I will cover the techniques I used to start letting go the need of approval from others.
Have a courageous day!