The Curse of Wanting To Feel Special - Just Analise
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The Curse of Wanting To Feel Special

10 Oct The Curse of Wanting To Feel Special

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I recently wrote about letting go of the need for external validation. Now I want to discuss another way in which external validation can bring out the worst in us.

This innate desire, curse that we all have that pits us against each other- the need to be special. 

We want to be unique, remarkable, even adored. But being unique, being remarkable, being adored can set us up to put others down. It encourages us to actively look for how people are flawed compared to us. To actively search for ways in which we can be better.

Better than them.

 

Why the need to be special?

Because we all want to be significant.

Significant to ourselves.

Significant to the people who matter the most to us.

Significant to our community.

We are looking for the accolade.

The accolade which tells us that we are amazing.

The accolade which tells us that we are one of a kind.

The best that there ever was.

 

However, with all of this wanting for external validation, comes an ugly side to us.

Especially if we fell we don’t get the love, the attention that WE DESERVE.

When we are not satisfied and contented with who we are, with where we are in our life.

Then we become discontented with who we are.

We fill that discontentment with the words (true or not) of others that reinforce in us all the things we want to feel about ourselves.

We are vulnerable to someone with high emotional intelligence and low ethics.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of constantly needing the attention and praise of others. In fact, it was how we were raised.

Finally, I have come to understand that in life, most times, the only person who will have anything good to say about you, is yourself.

 

Do you need to read that again?

 

Finally, I have come to understand that in life, most times, the only person who will have anything good to say about you, is yourself.

Be YOUR BIGGEST FAN.

Start building yourself up.

Don’t let it be at the expense of others or the relationships in your life.

Every single day.

No exceptions. No Exceptions.

 

Loving yourself can be difficult. We think that if people like us and want to be in our company, it must mean that we are special.

When the boss at work gives us more accolade than our co-workers, it may seem like we are moving ahead. We are getting better. Better. Better than others.

But wanting to be special, pitting yourself against others, being competitive even to the point of being spiteful does not make you a better person.

What happens when the accolade is no longer there?

Then, tell me who are you?

 

Here’s to the journey of self-awareness. 

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