04 Apr How to be feminine and stay true to yourself
It’s no secret – the masculine energy can be strong within this female body of mine.
While I do feel comfortable to fully embody feminine energy from time to time (like with my closest friends), my parents have more or less cultured me like a boy growing up. I guess it was their way of preparing me for this harsh, cruel world of ours.
Growing up, I was always torn between male and female friends. It was always a toss-up who got to spend more time with me in Primary school (Elementary school for you North Americans). Despite my indoctrination into the boyhood culture by my parents, somehow the feminine people pleasing genes were also implanted pretty strong from a very young age so I would divide up my time as equally as I could between the boys and girls. As a good little girl, I would play house and Barbie with the girls Inside the classroom then fifteen minutes later, I would run outside to assume to my position to cheer my male teammates on the cricket team. It wasn’t exhausting to my 10-year-old self – in fact, I enjoyed playing both games
As I became a tween and a teenager, my interests and hobbies took a hard left and veered towards sports, science, comic books and business. While I continued to maintain strong female bonds with my friends, it really did seem like I had more in common with the boys. So I found myself spending my recessions in high school talking sports, sex or general guy talk. I remember fighting with my mom because my clothes were too boyish (this was TLC, Aaliyah days so technically it was still female but then maybe their style reflected rebellion against male dominance). So the way I dressed and being an athlete had the boys in my class thinking I was a lesbian for all of high school.
This masculine way of being in the world transcended into my adulthood. However, being masculine as a female day in day out, 365 days for the year is exhausting. I’m pretty sure that there are women in the world who are naturally masculine, however, most females actually embody feminine energy.
I was accustomed being masculine just to survive in the world. It was all I pretty much knew. To uncover my inner femininity, I needed to make a conscious effort to bring her out.
It’s a feeling I want every day. All day. I want to embody it. I want to be it. I want it to flow through my aura and into any space I am in.
To cultivate this feeling I had to be deliberate in exploring femininity. I was adamant that my being feminine didn’t mean that I couldn’t be intelligent, logical assertive and I had to assume a girly domesticated role. I am sharing the ways I defined femininity for myself which came naturally and effortlessly to me.
Wearing high heels
Using my imagination to create stories or art.
Tapping in and using my intuition and letting my logic mind take a backseat
Being vulnerable. Opening up to people I trust and letting my not so lovable side be seen
Getting my nails and hair done.
Doing a daily tantric breast massage
When I listen compassionately and intently to the people in my life
Baking yummy treats for myself and the people I love.
When I am solution oriented and creating solutions to alleviate some of society’s ills.
Lavender, vanilla and rose scents
Self care rituals
Letting the chips fall as they may instead of rigorous planning
Being in the presence of strong, safe masculine energy
What are some of the things you do to embrace and embody your divine feminine?
Here’s to the journey of self-awareness.